Most of us live consciously or unconsciously with the illusion that we’re going to live forever, as we push away the fact that this life is going to end sooner or later, Dale Goldstein says.
Even with aging bodies and minds, it can be difficult to accept that reality, yet living in denial means “we don’t realize how precious every moment is because we never know if it’s our last moment,” says Goldstein, director of the Heartwork Institute in Rochester.
“We don't value the mystery of why these branches are blowing outside my window. You know, we don't really appreciate the moment. Most of the time, we're living in the future. Okay, what do I have to do when I get this done? I'm looking forward to the football game on Saturday,” he said during an interview with The Batavian. “So when you really love something, you're really paying close attention to it.
"Here’s a thought: if we paid close attention to everything, we would love everything, and we would live in a state of love and appreciation and gratitude," he said. "So I want people to appreciate their lives.”
Batavia First Presbyterian Church invites all to attend Goldstein’s workshop, “If I Had But One Year to Live.” He plans to take participants through a series of experiential exercises to find their own answers to the question, “If my life is getting cut short, in what ways might I change how I am living right now?”
Goldstein will help people explore what is truly meaningful in their lives, what is in the way of them getting to what they truly want, and how to move through those barriers, he said.
The workshop is free and runs from 9:30 a.m. to noon March 15 at the church, 300 E. Main St., Batavia.
“Human beings tend to not want to face our mortality, and because we avoid dealing with this existential issue, we miss much of our actual life in the moment,” he said. “There is a fear deep in our unconscious that prevents us from being fully present in our lives, so we don’t live completely, we don’t love completely, we don’t enjoy completely.
“We can't experience the depth and breadth of being a real human being," he said. "In this workshop, we will come to grips with this ultimate truth of our existence and realize that, knowing when that final moment will come. We need to live each moment fully so we have no regrets when we die.”
He suggests that folks bring a loved one with them to experience the workshop together if possible. Goldstein, who has a master's in social work, will provide guidance along the way as he prompts participants with “some very important questions,” which they will write down to ensure their privacy. The questions are somewhat deep, such as, do you feel fulfilled, and by how much in life? Do you feel alive? There will also be a bit of meditation.
“By facing death, you come to life in a new way,” he said. “And most importantly, for most people, actually, it really helps you get your priorities straight. What's really important is how much of your time you spend doing things that are just a waste of time.”
He didn’t want to give the whole workshop away but hinted that “something beautiful happens at the end.” After more than two dozen of these sessions, people haven’t felt it was a downer of any kind, but instead, “it’s really about seeing clearly what is important to you,” he said.
“It opens your heart to yourself and to life and to others. I call it heart work because it gets to the heart of the matter, and birth and death gets to the heart of the matter,” he said. “It’s beautiful, it really is. That’s why I’ve done it 26 times. It’s really a beautiful little workshop that has a punch to it.”
Who may be an ideal candidate for this workshop? Anyone who wants to enjoy life more, he said.
Goldstein has been doing what he calls heart work since 1980 and has 55 years of experience as a practicing therapist. He is also a teacher of personal-spiritual growth and a nationally known workshop facilitator.
After recognizing the potential limitations of strictly one or the other—cognitive, spiritual, or meditative forms of therapy—he discovered the process of using a combination of tools to open the heart and mind.
For more information, call 585-343-0505 or go HERE
