Photos by Howard Owens.
At a Strength in Numbers suicide prevention workshop on Sunday at Batavia Downs, Sarah Fedus recalled her late daughter found -- her love of animals, her entrepreneurship, and her passion for cheerleading, modeling, and music.
"She had a zest for life, and she lit up the room when she walked in," said Fedus, a Batavia resident.
Fedus was one of the featured speakers at the event, which was organized by Dan Clor and Sara Betz, local residents who lead Strength in Numbers, a veterans outreach program.
Betz said that because both she and Dan have been touched by losing people close to them to suicide, they wanted to use the organization to help raise awareness about suicide prevention.
"Strength In Numbers and American Warrior has built youth mentorship programs and veteran-related programs to keep not only our youth but military veterans in a healthy headspace day after day through an array of fitness and entrainment programs," Betz said. "Dan is a Marine veteran, is the catalyst and personal connection to such a movement. We, in turn, allow veterans to become coaches within these avenues to train our youth as a way to give back to re-spark one's sense of purpose. It is equally as important for Strength In Numbers to make an impact on our Youth as a whole for a brighter future through these same wellness avenues."
Fedus recalled that In 2019, her daughter was diagnosed with anxiety and started medication and counseling, but it wasn't enough. She started hurting herself, and then in February 2020, she tried to commit suicide.
Madeline Bartz was only 12 years old.
During an admissions interview at the hospital, Fedus learned something shocking: from the age of six until she was 10, her abuser was a close contact who wasn't much older than her.
"I want to share information about childhood trauma and abuse because it is not usually the creepy person down the street that is the abuser," Fedus said. "It’s usually someone you know. Someone you wouldn’t ever imagine. According to a 2003 National Institute of Justice report, three out of four adolescents who have been sexually assaulted were victimized by someone they knew well."
Madeline apparently wasn't believed by the first adult she told -- Fedus didn't say who that was -- and that left her doubly traumatized.
As a result, Madeline was dealing with multiple mental health issues.
In her 14th year, Madeline took her own life.
As a result of what she went through with her daughter, Fedus started Madeline Bartz Mission, Inc., a non-profit with a mission of bringing support, compassion and resources to those affected by childhood trauma and the mental illnesses they cause.
At Sunday's event, Fedus was talking publicly for the first time about what she went through with her daughter.
"When Dan and Sara first reached out to me about being a part of this event and supporting the Strength in Numbers Organization and their cause, I had no hesitation in doing so, Fedus said. "While I do not have firsthand experience with their organization, after looking into it and seeing the great work that they do with veterans and now youth, I knew it was important to bring this to light and support them, especially in our local area.
Betz said Strength in Numbers is partnering with suicide awareness organizations to connect with the parents of kids who need healthy outlets and offer programs to assist them as a way to explore their individuality.
"Strength In Numbers is also a proud partner of Action For A Better Community in Rochester, attending elementary schools and offering our services at their summer camps," Betz said. "We host public events, offer luxury suite programs at live sporting and entertainment events, network to local businesses selling our branded chocolate and coffee packaged by Oliver's Candies in Batavia, and much more."
Patrick Dadey also spoke about the suicide of his daughter, Makenna, who was only 13 and an 8th grader at Gates Chili Middle School, when she took her own life.
Dadey opened by playing a performance of Kenna, at age 11, singing and playing on guitar "Decline" by Miley Cyrus.
"Did you kind of see her mental illness? Most of the time, you cannot tell by looking at someone that they have a mental illness," Dadey said. "You can see a broken leg or a broken arm because that person has a cast. We need to start treating mental health like physical health and go and seek help."
Dadey said two days after Christmas in 2016, he found Kenna after a suicide attempt and had to perform CPR. First responders were there in minutes. She was transported to Strong Memorial Hospital and admitted to the Pediatric ICU.
Two weeks later, she died.
She was 13.
"There is not a worst failing as a parent than losing a child," Dadey said.
He founded Kenna's Fight, a non-profit that supports youth behavioral health programs.
He told the story of an event the organization founded that featured a speaker who is only one of 35 people who has survived, of 1,800, a jump off the Golden Gate Bridge.
A short time later, he got a call from a mother who said, "You saved my son's life."
A group of the boys' friends had been at the talk, and later that night, talking with their friend, they realized something wasn't right. Armed with information about intervention, the boys "took action," as Dadey put it. The boy received the help he needed.
"At Kenna's benefit in 2019, he gave me $300 he raised from mowing lawns," Dadey said.
Photo by Howard Owens.
"Did you kind of see her mental illness? Most of the time, you cannot tell by looking at someone that they have a mental illness," Dadey said. "You can see a broken leg or a broken arm because that person has a cast. We need to start treating mental health like physical health and go and seek help."
Photo by Howard Owens.
