DiFante

     A life is a curious thing.  We form impressions and make decisions several times in a single day.  Yet, we are largely unaware of those impressions while they are forming and unconscious of things influencing our decisions.  However, throughout our life, our actions stem from those decisions.  Ultimately, our character is formed by the actions we make every day in a lifetime.     There are both negative and positive moments that influence our character, and we can spend an enormous amount of energy dwelling on the negative while failing to recognize and celebrate the positive. 

     I had a moment yesterday that reminded me of the minor, yet important ways, other people influence our feelings and decisions, and ultimately our values. 

     I am fortunate enough to live next door to a wonderful couple, Drs. Magdi and Marie Rose Credi, and I was at their home yesterday as they celebrated the birthday of their eldest grandchild.  This is an event to which I’ve had the privilege to attend since we moved next door to Magdi and Marie Rose, and I enjoy visiting with their children and their families and catching up with the Credi’s friends.  Yesterday the Credi children had come from Boston, Atlanta and Washington D.C. to attend the annual celebration. However, attendance at the event was much smaller than other years due to the absence of the Mac and Pat Wormley family who were in Canandaigua celebrating Mac and Pat’s 50th wedding anniversary.  Magdi smiled and let me know that he and Marie Rose had four years to go before they would mark that significant event in their own marriage. 

     I don’t know Mac and Pat Wormley that well, and I don’t spend nearly as much time with Magdi and Marie Rose as I’d like to, but let me share with you the subtle ways in which both of these couples have influenced and continue to influence my life. 

     Like my husband and I, the Credi’s and the Wormley’s both have large families, and I’ve seen some of the trials faced by these families and the ways in which they come together to care for and support each other.  Magdi and Marie Rose - thank you for demonstrating patience and unfailing faith as you watch a child suffer.

     Both of these couples, despite being retired from their “original jobs,” serve our community in ways that continue to make a difference.  Pat, thank you for working in our school district as a substitute, and thank you for caring for and putting energy into the children of this community.  Ava loves you.  Magdi, thank you for finding a way to continue to share your God-given talents as a surgeon with those in need across this country and being innovative enough to find places to do that in cities in which your children live. 

    A successful marriage requires teamwork and both sacrifice and a sense of pride in one’s partner:  Magdi, thank you for making the necessary sacrifices so that Marie Rose could continue her education and for openly showing your pride in her when she earned her doctorate.  

     Good parents are not perfect, and neither are their children:  My heartfelt thanks to all of you for reminding me that parenting is not a science, and no matter what we do, we will make mistakes.  Our children will also make mistakes, and that is not a reflection on our parenting.  Yet, it is our own pride that causes us to experience embarrassment when our children make poor decisions.  Pride, that when humbled, allows us to feel that unconditional love that drives out all fear.  You have been great examples of this in ways I won’t mention, as I know that mentioning them is unnecessary.

     On this occasion of your 50th wedding anniversary, Mac and Pat, thank you for staying together, for loving and supporting each other and for raising children who, thank God, are not perfect;  and who serve others and are leaders in the communities in which they live.

     Thank you Magdi and Marie Rose for being great neighbors, parents and spouses to each other.  Thank you for creating a vision of what it’s like to encourage children to learn, grow, serve and spread their wings; and despite the distance this kind of parenting may encourage, for demonstrating the love that keeps families together - no matter the distance.  I am very lucky to have you as a neighbor.

     I can assure the reader that neither of these couples is aware of their impressions on me, and I may not have been either unless I had stopped to reflect on them.  I hope you will take time to reflect on ways in which the people in your lives, no matter how distant and seemingly insignificant, influence you in powerful and positive ways.  I hope you recognize how these people are helping to shape your values.  And, lastly, I hope you will thank them.  A life is a curious thing.  It’s over fast, and everybody needs to know how much they are appreciated today.