very long conversation that would go on for hours. There were so many stories in his head, but not being the writer or having that discipline, he very rarely put pen to paper. Hiram was in the moment, and if you weren’t there with him in that moment, then it would be lost forever.
Hiram and Diana married in 1986 in New York City in a storybook wedding at Park Avenue Synagogue and Tavern-on-the-Green. A year after their marriage, Diana gave Hiram an ultimatum: time to leave the Bronx and either get a house upstate and continue working as a stand-up, or move to LA and follow his dream of working as an actor in television which he always wanted, even more than stand-up. In 1987, they packed up their apartment and drove cross-country with their dachshund Petruchio for their next big scene change.
Some of their New York friends, comics and actors, had already gone out to the West Coast to find work in TV and film. By the late 80s, the mass exodus from New York to LA was in full swing. Having had the great camaraderie that was fostered in the New York comedy clubs, the couple and all of their New York friends had no trouble picking up where they left off and had their own very unique community. Diana even found apartments for several of the NY comics and writers, and their own little comedy compound developed in Hollywood. Immediately upon getting to LA, Hiram landed a recurring role in a pilot for CBS with Frank Langella and Sally Kellerman, called “Dr. Paradise.” Other roles followed in many sitcoms and some have become classics. He played Michael, a co-worker to Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), in “Seinfeld.” He had guest starring roles in “Mad About You,” “Everybody Loves Raymond,” and “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” Some of his other TV credits included “7th Heaven”, “Sabrina the Teenage Witch,” “Brooklyn Bridge,” “Without a Trace,” “Saved by the Bell,” “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air,” “Brotherly Love,” “My Wife and Kids,” “Men of a Certain Age,” “Dirty Sexy Money,” “Fat Actress,” “Yes, Dear,” “State of Grace,” “It’s Like, You Know...,” “Cybill,” “L.A. Law,” to name a few.
During this time, their daughter Millicent came along. Hiram loved being a dad and was a stay-at-home father for the first few years of Millie’s childhood. He would come up with new things for the two of them to do every day. Lots of times, it was to an audition, and she would sit amongst the waiting actors chatting up a storm. They would have a standing late lunch at Jerry’s Deli. Many times, other comedians would join them, and Millie would hear the stories, pick up the timing and repeat the jokes. Hiram adored his little girl, and when she would pull out a reference or make a callback, he was thrilled! He was always so proud of the show-biz education she got from him.
Out of all the roles he played, his most perfect part was yet to come. Television writer and producer, Don Reo and actor/musician David Cassidy were producing a show at The Desert Inn in Las Vegas based on the Rat Pack. They were casting for a Joey Bishop-like character to add the comedy element to the show. Don Reo asked two TV producer/writer friends, Jim Vallely and Ron Zimmerman, if they knew of anyone. The two suggested Hiram, and as luck would have it, he would be hosting that very evening a “roast” for Mike Rowe, the comedy writer/producer of such hits as “Family Guy” and “Futurama.” The roast was to be held at the world-famous Beverly Hills Friars Club, a place where the original Rat Pack ate and played cards. Unbeknown to Hiram, Don Reo and David Cassidy showed up at the Friars Club that evening to see for themselves. Never had a part and an actor been so ideally suited! Hiram killed, and before he knew it, he was mixing drinks in a tuxedo onstage in Vegas eight times a week!
One night during the run, the actor playing Sammy, was nowhere to be found. He was not able to make the show. Hiram, always the show biz trouper, believed “the show must go on!” Without missing a beat, Hiram decided he would play both parts. Much to the amazement and sheer terror of the cast and crew, he perfectly melded the two parts together onstage and seamlessly set up the cues for the other actors and the orchestra. The audience loved it! Diana, always thought the show should be called “Hiram Meets the Rat Pack.” Friends and family from both coasts came to see him, and the original Reo/Cassidy production “The Rat Pack is Back” was the toast of the town! His old friend Jerry Seinfeld gathered up some close friends – Paul Reiser, Larry Miller, Mark Schiff, Michael Richards, Mario Joyner, to name a few – and jetted them all in to catch the show at The Desert Inn. Word got out it was the show to see in Vegas! Again, that “truly charming guy” was in his element.
Hiram continued his stand-up by performing in clubs and on cruise ships. He traveled the world on luxury cruises such as Seabourn, Royal Viking and Princess. He was the consummate Master of Ceremonies and loved donning his tux and doing a benefit for some organization anywhere. His favorite was for a benefit in LA at The Beverly Hilton for Bar-Ilan University in Israel. He wished his parents could have been there to see their son, Tzvi Hersh (his Hebrew name), the boy from The Bronx, honor and introduce Jewish philanthropists and political figures who supported higher education in Eretz Yisrael. He had come a long way from Clarke Place.
After 25 years, Hiram and Diana moved to Batavia, New York, where Diana was born and raised and many of her family still lived. The decision to leave LA was a difficult one, but a necessary one for Diana. She wanted to be near her aging father after her mother had passed away; she had a family business in which she was a partner that she needed to attend to; they already had a house they only lived in during summer vacations when they visited her parents, their daughter would be attending Cornell University which was only two and a half hours away. So, they packed up and moved back East. Hiram went back and forth between Batavia and New York City for a few seasons, but the landscape had changed, as had the business. In 2016, Diana ran for Congress on the Democratic ticket in NY-27. Hiram was so proud and supportive of her. He was also thrilled to see his daughter graduate with Honors from Cornell University in Government and then later receive her Juris Doctor degree from Fordham University in New York.
In 2017, his health had taken a downturn, and he no longer performed or actively pursued his career. Never mentioning it to his friends, he carried on as usual over the phone and with trips to NY and LA. After seven years of fighting through a multitude of illnesses, including prostate cancer and his lifelong battle with Crohn’s disease, he only began to share the terminality of it all with his friends in the last six months. His great comedy and artistic community rallied to his side. Some made trips to Batavia to visit him, late night Zoom meetings with friends on both coasts ensued and went into the wee hours of the morning. On his first Zoom, he held court. He loved it and was at the top of his game, throwing down references to comedy history and recalling stories from the past. Diana said it prolonged his life for at least another two months to be able to laugh with his peers.
Hiram Kasten loved show business and lived his dream of being in show business. His most satisfying and greatest role, though, was as a family man. He loved being a dad to his beautiful and brilliant daughter who survives him, Millicent Jade Kastenbaum of Manhattan. Her many achievements in her young life and in her career as an Assistant District Attorney have made him burst with pride and love. He is survived by his beloved wife, Diana Kisiel Kastenbaum of Batavia, New York, who loved and tenderly cared for him until the end. Theirs was a great love affair. They were married on June 15, 1986, and he died in her arms the day after their 38th wedding anniversary. He is also survived by his brother-in-law, Kevin John Kisiel of Rochester, New York and several loving nieces and nephews and their children, as well as wonderful cousins on both sides of the family.
